Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Does God's Waiting Room have A/C?

Dear Diary,

The weather is such a safe subject to discuss with friends or strangers. 
Lull in the conversation?  Talk about the weather. 
Meet a farmer?  Discuss the rain.
Got nothing to say to a three-year-old?  Talk about snow.
Need a blog topic?  Go no further!
It's the universal subject people can either complain about or revel in and not worry about being judged as a Lefty or a Righty.  (OK, perhaps I'd better keep Global Warming out of the conversation.)

As a warm weather-loving person, I still love my cool weather-loving friends.

My youngest, who is 10, is ready to move to Michigan. 
"Why?" I ask.
"There are no tornadoes or earthquakes, and there is a lot of snow," she immediately replies.  She has obviously thought this through.
Then I wonder if she was switched at birth because she is obviously not my child.

Once upon a time, long, long ago, I was fine with winter.
Slipping my stockinged feet into orange, Holsum bread bags before shoving them into not-so-water-proof Mickey Mouse boots was a normal part of winter play preparations.  That -- along with a double layer of pants (snow pants were not the norm at my house) -- was tolerated because when else could a girl dig a snow tunnel and make a snow fort?  I also remember my bright red stocking hat with a pom-pom the size of a baseball.  I loved it!

(Contrast this with almost every Florida vacation picture of me as a youngster...in August. 
Hair wild from humidity and sweat, skin red with angry sunburn,
my grouchy, grumpy, squinty-eyed face mirroring my every thought under that bright, relentless sun.)

Now, as an adult, not only do I mentally cringe at the change to a colder season, but my body rebels.
Scratchy, sore throat.
Sinus pressure.
Dry eyes and nose.
Watery eyes and nose.

Now I understand why the "older set" like to migrate to places like Florida and Arizona --
states which have been jokingly called God's Waiting Room.
Someday it will be my joy to hang out there.

As long as there is air conditioning.


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