Why I Don't Drink Much Caffeine - IHS #7

Dear Diary,

I am having a love/hate relationship with my blog right now.

I love writing.
I hate that it is taking up so much of my mental time. 
I am neglecting my chores and my Christmas preparations, and am cheating my family of a Christmas spirit I desperately want to feel.

On December 9, I challenged myself to post a joy of my heart each day until Christmas.

I am reneging that challenge. 

It is no longer a joyful task.

Saturday's post did not get published.
I did write a post for Saturday, but the key idea was actually in a one-minute video I tried to upload.  And tried,
and tried,
and tried again. 
I wasted a lot of time. 
No Can Do. 

And I was more than a little irritated by it.

So, I need to have a reality check, stop obsessing and start living (and cleaning)!  I need to start organizing, wrapping, and panicking about my (lack of) Christmas card ideas.  I want to put joy back into my day, not just in one little gem I manage to pull out for these posts.

I need to chill.

So, while I will post more before Christmas, I am taking the pressure off of myself (which was soley put on by ME) to post every day.


So here is my IHS for today.  It comes full circle to my advent calendar I alluded to on the 9th.  It was homemade by church ladies, and it is adorable.  Felt people with googly eyes.  Hearkens me back to my childhood Sunday School days, with green felt boards and Bible story characters stiffly demonstrating the story at hand.

On this the 16th day of December, the procession of people and animals gathering to welcome the baby Jesus is getting quite large. 




Here is what I noticed this morning. 
Upon closer inspection, their googly eyes actually make them appear to have had a little waaaaaay too much coffee.



Yup. Wide awake.
I guess they don't want to miss Christ's coming.

Neither do I.  So I'll catchya later.

LJ

What's So Striking About That?

Dear Diary,

I am having writer's block.  I haven't written in 9 days, and with the kids back to school and me unemployed, I'd think I'd be in writer's heaven. 

Not the case.

I tend to write about what strikes me.  I have an "aha" moment, scramble to write it down on a scratch pad before it escapes me, and then remain restless until I find the time to sit and write an entry about it.
I just haven't been struck lately.

I do have some "aha" moments and quirks that have been noteworthy, but they don't seem quite big enough to make the cut for an entire diary entry.  Here are some of them:

The sweater dress. 
Man, was I surrounded by those at my last school.  Young, svelte teachers looking smashing in their sweater dress and scarf, complete with boots and leggings.
I want one. 
I think I'm afraid of what will happen in the dressing room when I try one on. 
Perhaps I am better off in my capris and flats.

British Bands. 
How do they sing with no accent?

My eyebrows. 
Why are they disappearing from above my eyes and showing up under my chin?

The answering machine. 
A dreaded thing, really. 
It's not the listening for messages; it's the leaving messages. 
I really need to be on my best game when I leave a message. My ramblings can't be taken back. 

"So, I was hoping to catch you at home, and uh, yeah.....well, I'm around if you want to call me back-- but not between 1:00-3:30 or 6:00-8:30....So, you can call me back if you want -- or I can call you back when I can -- whatever....it's cool if you don't want to talk to me....I can send you a letter or just see you whenever....OK, have a good day!  Bye!  -- Oh, it's LJ by the way -- bye again!" 

I'm lucky not get cut off with a BEEEEEP in the middle of that award-winning speech.
Most cell phones have the delete option, thank goodness. 
But those house machines:  merciless.

Birds that fly into windows. 
Well, it is on my idea list, but I no longer remember why that struck me.

My attempt at running. 
It is so cool and hip to be a runner these days. 
At least all my running friends are cool and hip.
I want to be cool and hip. 
After a summer of trying, I guess I won't be cool and hip. 
It's too hard.

My preoccupation with license plates. 
Take me on a trip out of state and I get a nerdy preoccupation with all those plates on the interstate.  "Oh look, a plate from New Mexico!"  Such a rare sighting!  "Hey, that one says ILV CHOC !"
Trouble is when I get back home I am still reading plates for days afterward.  It's annoying to read only plates like X32 699 and BCK OFF while driving to the grocery store.  Where are all the people from Virginia and Kansas?  Not going to the grocery store here, that's for sure.

So I hope something strikes me soon. 
I'd like to do some writing while I have the time.

LJ

A Whole Lotta Nuthin'

Dear Diary,

I am breaking away from my Downton Abbey Season 2 marathon to write.  (Mary: just tell him you love him; and Mrs. Bates: you are a nasty, nasty woman!)  Thanks to Hulu for making my viewing much easier since the library only gave me three days.

It’s fun to despise the despicable chaps and become endeared to the misguided but lovable ones.  And boy, there is not a dull moment in Downton!  I usually want to speak in my refined British accent after watching, too.  Oh, and I l-o-v-e Maggie Smith’s character! 

OK, now I am gushing.  On to other things.

I enjoy this time of writing.  It is a great outlet for me.  My initial intention with this blog was to write my life comments for my family-- my girls and hubby, mainly.  But as my posts increased, my ears (and heart) would perk up when I would hear an occasional comment from my friends and extended family who are also reading what I write.  I have tried to tell myself it’s the act of writing that is satisfying me.  But that is a lie.  It’s knowing there are others who are reading the words that truly satisfies me. 

What good is putting a note in a bottle if no one ever reads it? Or paint on canvas?  Or musical notes onto a staff?

Not all of my writing is meant to be shared.  I have diaries from my growing years that I am happy no one else will read, at least while I am alive.  I believe I practiced scrawling my anticipated married name on a few pages even before there was a proposal!

Even though I have yearnings to sit and write, I don’t always know what to say.  I have a few thoughts on topics scribbled on paper but they don’t always "take off" the moment I have time to expound. 

Such is today.  Since my last post I have been swamped with time consuming activities, Downton being one of them.  Housework, not so much.

In the midst of the chaos, I have been longing to sit and do this.  To write.  But I don’t have anything in particular to say today. 
So I guess I’m done. 
And I thank you for reading this anyway.
And I'm sorry I made you read to the end before you knew I wasn't writing anything.  That's a couple of minutes you could have spent on Facebook. 

Better luck next time,

LJ

Not a Trivial Matter

Dear Diary,
By now I think it has been established that I like to write about trivial things.

• Household chores
• Vacations
• Post-Its
• Deer Sightings
• Parakeets
• Sitting around a parking lot
• Etc.

Honestly, my day is full of trivial moments.  Heck so is my life.  So here comes another trivial observation for me to write about. Well, it's a confession, really.

I am no longer confident in my ability to use a pen and get my thoughts properly down onto paper, and get it right the first time.  I am talking about writing a good old-fashioned letter (a rare, antiquated activity these days).  I need to first type it on my computer.  If it is a good long letter, I have no problem printing from the word processor and then just scribble my sig at the bottom.

But there are a few occasions when I want to send a hand-written note.  However, I start by typing my thoughts onto paper, tweak it, spell check it, and then hand write it out. (In fact, honestly, this is why I decided to blog my writing instead of journal it.  Hand-writing vs. typing these posts?  Easy choice.) 

Yes, much of my daily life is made up of triviality, like decisions on typing vs. writing.  Decisions and situations that are mostly unimportant in the grand scheme of life.  In fact I think most of my life is white noise trivia.  Stuff that takes up my time, which masks what really matters.

So what does matter in my life?  What gives my life its value?

My relationships and my faith.

Matters of the heart and soul are never trivial.

Soon I will be writing a letter.  Actually two.  To strangers across the sea.  To prisoners I don't know.  And it is no trivial matter.

I will spend a long time fashioning/typing the words I will eventually put to pen.  I will look up scripture and think carefully about my message.  These letters will probably be some of the most important letters I have ever written.  One will go to a man named Alim, in China, and one to Imran, in Pakistan; both persecuted under a government hostile to Christians.

Here is more information on the persecuted church and prisoners who need encouragement to get through each hour of the day.  The Voice of the Martyrs is doing amazing work of supporting the persecuted and their families around the world.

And I am happy to discover they have a blog!
http://www.persecutionblog.com/

These are stories that amaze me.  These people are my heroes.  They struggle daily for survival, while I harp over trivial matters.  It humbles me.  It points me to the awesomeness of God.

Now that is no trivial matter.
LJ